Secret Oath
by The Orgasmic Uke
Summary: Axel made a secret oath to himself. Roxas had to know his feelings before the blonde left his life possibly forever... AxelXRoxas Songfic.


**This is dedicated to the love of my life. It's our song, our pairing, and our love story. I'll love your forever, Jaden. And I'll always be yours.**

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The tall redheaded man paced back and forth in his dark room. He wasn't exactly sure what to do. He knew he couldn't stop the blonde, but he couldn't just let him walk out of his life forever. Axel couldn't live with himself if he just let the blonde leave like that. Not without him knowing...

_I'm raking my brain_

_Trying to comprehend_

_How for some unknown reason_

_Our Status will remain as friends..._

Roxas was his world. The blonde had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. But only that. Best friends. But Axel had always wanted more. Zexion constantly reminded the redhead that what he felt wasn't real. They didn't have hearts, thus were incapable of feelings such things. But Axel knew better. He knew what he felt and he couldn't let the blonde just leave without him knowing.

_I'm destroying my mind_

_Trying to understand_

_How with little to no effort_

_You've got me eating out of the palms of your hands._

Axel would always do whatever the blonde wanted. Not matter what. He would follow him anywhere. But he couldn't this time. He couldn't go with him. He knew that. And he knew that no matter what he said, it wouldn't stop him. Roxas was stubborn and wouldn't listen to reason. But... Axel thought it was worth a try. It might be worth telling him how he felt...

_There was not a single spark_

_When my lips landed on yours in the dark_

_But regardless of what happens next_

_You're my beloved you just don't know it yet._

Axel growled in the back of his throat and punched the stone wall with his burning hand. The flames licked at his hand but didn't harm him. He was lost in his own thoughts. He'd let Roxas leave. He knew the blonde needed to find out the truth about himself. But he wasn't going to let him leave without knowing the truth about them.

_Tonight I made a secret oath_

_To keep chasing after you_

_And I am not going to stop_

_Whether you like it or not._

Axel spun around, the black coat whooshing behind him as he made his way out of the room. He'd atleast tell Roxas the truth. Atleast, he would try. He wasn't sure how the blonde might take it, but he was willing to take that risk.

_We're murdering our lives_

_Trying to make it work_

_But you and I both know that we are a lost cause_

_We're nothing more then specks on this earth..._

He knew where Roxas would be. So he waited, leaning back against the wall. He was nervous, not sure how he was going to tell him exactly. But he didn't have to wait long. He spotted a head of blonde hair walking towards him. He kept himself from smiling at the adorable blonde. Roxas spotted him and narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"You can't stop me Axel."

The redhead nearly smirked and raised his hands in defense. "I didn't come to stop you."

Roxas eyed him carefully before crossing his arms over his chest. "Then why are you here?"

"I can't say goodbye to my buddy?" He pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of the blonde, towering over him.

Roxas raised his head so he could meet the redhead's elegant green eyes. "I figured you'd try to stop me."

He shrugged. "I know I can't. Doesn't mean I want you to go."

Roxas looked him over, his blue eyes showing his sadness. "I have to Axel... I need to know... The truth."

"And by doing this, do you honestly think you'll figure out who you really are?"

"I do."

Axel kept himself from growling. "Roxas, I know who you are. And so do you. You don't have to go searching for-"

"I didn't choose this Axel!" The blonde snapped at him. "It chose me! The keyblade chose me!"

Axel stared at his beloved in surprise. "Roxas..."

The boy moved his eyes to the floor, lowering his head. "Besides... No one would miss me..."

Axel's heart jumped into his throat. "That's not true." Roxas shook his head and started to walk past Axel. Axel spun on his heel, watching the blonde walk away. "I would..."

_There was not a single spark_

_When my lips landed on yours in the dark_

_But regardless of what happens next_

_You're my beloved you just don't know it yet._

Axel reacted faster then he thought to. He quickly grabbed the blonde's small hand and spun him around. Roxas opened his mouth to retort but Axel's mouth was on his in a second. They stayed like that a moment longer. Axel leaning down, his lips on the blonde's and Roxas frozen in shock.

_Tonight I made a secret oath_

_To keep chasing after you_

_And I am not going to stop_

_Whether you like it or not._

Roxas finally snapped out of his daze and reacted. He lifted up on his toes and pressed his lips back against the redhead's. Axel sighed and quickly wrapped his arms around the boy's thin waist, pulling him to his own body. Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck, pulling him down closer to deepen the kiss.

Axel was jumping for joy inside. His blonde was kissing him back. That had to mean something. But Axel thought to soon.

Roxas snapped his eyes open and forcefully pushed Axel away from him. Axel stumbled backwards a bit, surprised. "What the hell?!" Axel stared at him with wide eyes. The blonde's blue eyes became glossy and tears gathered at the corners. "Now? Now you chose to kiss me?! Of all times Axel! Why now?!" He yelled at the redhead, his voice almost cracking.

Axel winced at the sadness in the boy's voice. "I couldn't let you leave without knowing." He said softly.

Roxas growled and bit his bottom lip. His fists clenched at his sides, his control over his tears becoming futile. "It was easy to leave thinking no one cared! But you had to, didn't you? I can't handle this Axel! I can't!"

Axel quickly wrapped his arms around the blonde, holding him tightly to his chest. Roxas didn't fight him. Only buried his head in his chest and allowed those tears to fall. Axel felt horrible for making his love cry. But it had to be done. Had to be...

"I love you Roxas... But it's ok. I can wait. I know you have so much you need to take care of." He pulled back and placed a finger under the blonde's chin, raising his head so their eyes could meet. "Regardless of what happens... I'll always be waiting for you."

Roxas bit the bottom of his lip. "Axel... I..." He shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. "I'm sorry..."

Axel smiled at him softly and used a gloved thumb to whip away the tears from Roxas' pale face. "It's alright. I can't and won't make you stay. You need to do this for yourself."

Roxas nodded before leaning up and placing his lips on the redhead's once more. It was a sweet kiss. Roxas' own way of saying goodbye. He pulled back and Axel let go of him. They stared at each other a moment longer before Axel gave him a small smile. Roxas returned that smile then turned around and walked away from the redhead.

Axel watched the blonde walk away until he could no longer see him. He clutched his black coat tightly over where his heart would be. Zexion was damn wrong. If they truly didn't have hearts. Then it wouldn't hurt this bad to let Roxas go. He knew his heart was breaking. But the redhead took comfort in the blonde feeling the same way. He didn't think letting him go would have hurt so badly. But he didn't have a choice. Axel tightened his grip on his coat before turning around and walking away.

Not matter what, he would see Roxas again. They would be together and he was going to do everything in his power to make that so. Even if it meant leaving behind everything he knew. Axel was willing to do it. As long as it was for Roxas.

_I know you listen to this all alone up in your room._

_I know you love how all this music's about you..._

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**Well, atleast unlike Roxas and Axel, Me and Jaden actually got together again. I always found this pairing to be so sad and heart breaking. But the song fits them so well doesn't it? Oh right, song credit!**

**Disclaimer: the song is **"_Secret Oath" by The Spill Canvas. _**I don't own Kingdom hearts or any characters. But i own this story since it's such a personal event.**

**I love that band. Love them to death. This is my second songfic using one of their songs. **

**So, This song is mine and Jaden's song. The story is our own love story. And the pairing... hehe. I'm Roxas and he's Axel. What you just read is what more or less what actually happened to us 3 years ago. I had to have Jaden help me write this so I could remember what he said to me exactly... but I had to move away and at the time we were just friends. Really good friends, but still only friends. I didn't have a choice in moving (since I was only 16 and my parents ruled me...) and the day we were leaving for good he came to me and flipping kissed me. Ha, I freaked out like Roxas there. But, when I was finally old enough I moved back here and tada! We ish together. **

**Strange how so alike we are to the AxelXRoxas pairing... Maybe that's why it's my favorite... Hm... Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed it. I tried my best to make you feel those emotions but I'm bad at it. I had a hard time writing it since I know those raw emotions and started crying halfway through writing this. -sigh- **

**Well, thanks for reading! And don't forget to Review! Reviews on this story are actually really important to me... Since this is such a personal story. So please be nice! Thanks again!**

**+Matt+**

**(with a little help from my own personal Mello -points at Jaden who's sticking his tongue out at me-) **


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